top of page

XO's Side Projects

Like most of us, Captain XO has been known to start a project that sounds AWESOME, but never goes anywhere.

Below is the first couple of pages from a cartoon script that I started, after someone misinterpreted my reoccurring tweet: 'Sweet Odin Jesus and Dread Lord Cthulhu.'

So...the first couple of pages from Odin, Jesus, and Cthulhu, Attorneys at Law.


Odin, Jesus, and Cthulhu: Attorneys at Law


Three LAWYERS sit at a well appointed BAR. All have glasses dark with whiskey in front of them;

dressed in suits with their ties pilled down. They stare morosely at their drinks, looking haggard.

Lawyer #1: We’re ruined. No one will take the firm seriously anymore.

Lawyer #2: How was I supposed to know that there was precedent in case law from eleven hundred

years ago about the placement of commas in contract language?

Cut to:

ODIN, in a lawyerly looking OFFICE, closely examines a stack of papers, taking notes. His notes read, in proto-Germanic runes ‘critical error in phrasing, page 12; refer to Egilson v. Harrkon, 963 Year of

the other guy’ He pauses and then smiles. The smile is not pleasant.

Cut to:


Lawyer 1: Cthulhu’s cross examination was devastating. How do you prep a witness for that?

Cut to:


An older gentleman is in the witness stand. CTHUHLU, dressed in a suit and tie, his wings protruding

out the back and his facial tendlers slowly writhing, looks at a blank faced young man, also in a suit.

The minion begins to speak, almost chanting.

Minion: Do you recognize this document? Is this not your signature on the contract? Are these not

your initials upon each and every page? You signed this in the presence of your counsel, who is

representing you here today. Can you actually expect this court to believe you did not understand the

terms to which you agreed?’

Witness: (begins weeping)

Cthulhu’s tendlers writhe faster.

Cut to:


Lawyer 3: (takes a long gulp of whiskey) And that closing! Jesus, what a closing argument.

Cut to:


JESUS, his long hair pulled back into a pony tail, smiles at the jury. He sounds like a parent soothing

a child.

Jesus: ‘I remind the jury that whatsoever you do to the least, you do unto…well, unto all of us. A

giant, wealthy corporation is willing to fight tooth and nail to avoid paying any money to right the wrongs to my client. Isn’t that the same as wronging all of us?’

A member of the jury stares back at Jesus, nodding. A series of quick cuts shows that each member of

the jury sees Jesus as a kindly looking man of their ethnicity.

Cut to:


All three lawyers empty their glasses in unison.

Cut to:


Where it is revealed that the opening sequence was a commercial. An ADVERTISING EXECUTIVE

is showing the three partners the commercial for their approval.

Advertising Executive: We’ll play that in the NY Metro area, during prime time.

Cthulhu (through his speech generating device): It looks excellent. It plays to our strengths.

Odin: Why am I just reading a contracting and taking notes?

4 views0 comments

Recent Posts

See All

PAX EST DESTRUI: Chapter 4 - Leaving... On a Jet Plane

by Robert Lyman - 2021 We crossed into Free Maritime airspace just after sunset. The Renegade was well past the eastern horizon by now, slipping her way northward before turning west towards the Free

PAX EST DESTRUI: Chapter 3 -Deja Vu All Over Again

by Robert Lyman - 2021 Sure enough, there was a problem. A significant one at that. One that was going to cause a lot of issues for a lot of people on the Renegade. Communications Officer Jones was de

PAX EST DESTRUI: Chapter 2 - Message for You Sir!

by Robert Lyman - 2021 “You can't be serious?” I said. “I just got out of the NAF and you want to send me back? Hell, I know for a fact there’s a bounty on my head because of what I did when I left. A


bottom of page